Ultra Running Is A Lot Like Being Drunk

 

  1. You start off feeling really good, but you know that your stomach could turn at any moment.
  2. You stumble around a lot and swear.
  3. You start to find things REALLY REALLY funny.
  4. You have to be convinced that taking off your shoes is not a great idea.
  5. You pee and don’t really care who sees you, bonus points for not peeing on your shoes that you still want to take off.
  6. You eat weird combinations of food that seem utterly amazing at the time.
  7. You lose your belongings and get REALLY upset…because that was your all time favorite lip balm and dammit how can you be expected to move on without your root beer lip balm?
  8. You smell really really bad.
  9. You swear you are ABSOLUTELY NEVER DOING THIS AGAIN!! EVER! NEVER NEVER NEVER….In fact you beg your significant other to never ever let you do this again. You swear you’ll use moderation and just do normal distances…maybe a nice marathon?
  10. You may or may not spend the following day eating a really big cheeseburger and shuffling around like a zombie…bonus points for making a fun noise for every stair or sitting down attempt.

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