Trail running just sounds dirty

I convinced (enabled) my husband to train for his first 50K and now between our YouTube accounts being a plethora of trail porn (races) and scheduling our trail time around wrangling the fun sized members of our family (kids). I realized how freaking dirty everything sounds and I felt that MAYBE I should translate for those around us.

“I’m getting some strange” – New Trails

“I probably should lube” – Squirrel Nut Butter in places that might chafe.

“I need the butt stuff” – Trislide because on a long enough timeline….EVERYTHING chafes.

“Mama needs some sugar” – Actual candy. Preferably Vegan. Not sharing with the kids.

“Want to leapfrog this weekend?” – Mom gets dropped off, runs a point to point, then Dad swaps out and runs a point to point, and Mom picks Dad up.

“Time for a quickie?” – 3 miles

“I went down on my knees” – Tripped and fell. 99% of the time it’s on a stick the size of a Lego.

“I almost got caught by a hiker” – Probably peeing…maybe pooping…..but probably peeing.

“That snake was huge” – Literal snake, not a euphemism.

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