Confessions of an Introverted Runner

So I’m outing myself right here. I’m a total introvert. It took me a while to get comfortable with getting on a stage and teaching group fit when I first started and then I got into a groove of having an alter-ego who is much more bubbly and outgoing (and swears a lot less).  Normal me is more of a fuzzy socks and a book kind of girl which is why ultra running and I work together so well. I have no qualms about being solo for many hours on end and as an added bonus I can listen to audio books (and I can swear my little heart out). I eventually found a few awesome friends to trek out with on trail during the week while the kids were in school and had some of the best conversations ever on those runs. You get to know people so much better when you’re taking turns peeing behind trees and stumbling over branches (and swearing). Trail running is awesome for conversations because it’s perfectly fine to not make eye contact (because you’re trying not to trip) and I’m usually pretty crap with making eye contact with people. I also am a bit ADD (ok probably a lot) and have found that a lot of long distance runners are the same and you don’t need to translate when you’re with your own (oooh look squirrel).

Life changes though and either they moved or I moved and in my move, I gained some awesome access to great technical trails, but lost all my easy to get to during the school day trails and got stuck on the road. I managed to meet up on the weekends a few times with some friends from out of town, but after I got pregnant and couldn’t run technical trails, I lost contact with everyone because they’re out doing awesome stuff and I’m uh…fat and slow.  So when my very sweet neighbor offered to throw me a baby shower and said she just needed my guest list, I froze. I ran through my mental list of Facebook friends, neighbors, acquaintances, and friends and realized now that I literally had not a single person that I would want to drag to a party (plus we didn’t have one for either of our other two and having one for the third seemed kind of bass akward). So I politely declined the offer even though I so appreciated the sentiment.

Socializing outside of running for me is awkward and best and I just generally fail at it. I’m much better off hanging with my husband and kids and dog then try to not make a general ass of myself (trail runners are not housebroken) and it’s hard to explain why you’re a grumpy mofo because you can’t get 20 milers in and you miss being able to see your damn toes (non ultra runners don’t understand).  Don’t get me wrong, I’m super excited to be having baby number 3, but I always thought that this one would be the one that I would run through my pregnancy with a glow and a smile and instead I’m just fat, surly, and I have all the heartburn (and nary a glow).

Counting down to meeting my little guy and getting my sanity back in the woods.

One comment

  1. I totally get this. I’d much rather be on a trail (alone) than doing pretty much anything else (well, except hang out with my family). I think anyone who can pop out for a 2.5 hour run is bound to have at least a bit of antisocial genes somewhere inside them. It’s been a while since I’ve done any big mileage runs but I know how it feels to hit Sunday night and realize that the highlight of the weekend was your long run.

    Like

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